Never Have I Ever Felt Like This Before
by I've-Gotta-Be-Me
Summary: Kurt is all up for an evening of "self-exploration". He's in the middle of this when Blaine sends him a casual IM. Thing is, Kurt wants to take their conversation to the next level. Will Blaine cooperate or leave Kurt to his own devices again?


Kurt liked being alone. While most people enjoyed being out and about, partying and carrying on, Kurt was a creature of isolation. He didn't mind the silence of an empty house; in fact, he reveled in it. It meant he could play his favorite songs on repeat for hours on end and no one would tell him to turn them off. It meant he could eat whatever he wanted or shout at the television screen without shame if he felt inclined to do so. Or…

Or he could do what he was doing right now.

Sometimes when Kurt felt especially brave (or hot and bothered – the conditions were interchangeable, really), he'd get up enough nerve to actually do something about it. Ever since reading his trusty pamphlets – now safely stored in his nightstand for reference – and done some "exploring" of his own with Blaine, all concepts regarding sex were much, _much_ more interesting to him.

As their relationship progressed, Kurt was learning more and more about what felt good and what felt right. He knew the spot on Blaine's neck that would make his squirm. He knew just where to put his hand to entice a light moan from his boyfriend's lips. He'd even cultivated the ability to let Blaine know all these things, and more, about _himself_ as well. Every time they were home alone or in the car after a date, they'd take things a little further; inching towards the heat, always _slowly_ stoking the fire. Blaine would never push him, always backing away if he felt things were moving too fast. Though it was considerate, sometimes in the heat of the moment it could be nothing short of infuriating.

Kurt had gotten used to taking care of himself; finishing himself off after a steamy make-out session or a well-executed touch. He'd learned to bring _other material_ in to help him out, too.

He didn't like to call it "watching porn". No, the phrase made him feel grossed out and a little disgusted with himself. Instead, he liked to think about it as furthering his sexual education. He wanted to learn new things; things that he'd be too shy to ask about or try out of the blue. He told himself that watching these videos would make him a better boyfriend, someone who knew all the moves and the perfect times to execute them.

He found it easier if he imagined Blaine. Blaine making those sounds and groaning his name. Blaine biting the pillow because he _just couldn't_ take it. Blaine shutting his eyes tight as he came hard; came for Kurt and Kurt alone.

Kurt bit his lip and felt himself starting to breathe a little harder. He was glad no one would be home to hear him, because he knew from past experience that he could get loud on occasion. His cock twitched in his pants as one man in the video started letting out breathy moans and streams of words that Kurt would otherwise deem indecent. He was aching to reach down and touch himself - even if it was just through his pants, to relieve some of the tension - but he made himself hold on.

The video was just getting to a particularly dirty (and loud) climax when a small window blipped up at the bottom corner of Kurt's computer screen.

"_BlaineTheWarbler has just logged in_" it read.

Kurt stiffened, not sure if he should set his status to away or log out all together. He knew he couldn't stop what he was doing, not entirely anyway. Before he could make up his mind on what to do, an IM window popped up on his screen, effectively blocking the video.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**__ Hey, I miss you_

Kurt couldn't help but smile at that, despite his current predicament. Blaine hadn't been able to make the trip to see Kurt for a few weeks with school and work daring to throw him off balance. More than ever, Kurt wanted to talk to him. After all, it was Blaine's hand he was wishing that was on him. He moved his cursor first to pause the video and then to type back a response.

_**Kurtonista: **__I miss you more_

_**Kurtonista:**__ I wish you could have come over tonight_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__I know, I wish I could have been there. But I just got off of work and I'm wiped_

_**Kurtonista:**__ No, I understand. I was just thinking about you, that's all_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__I'm always thinking about you, Kurt_

Kurt grinned to himself, feeling adventurous and mischievous. He knew he could make this conversation take a turn for the dangerous if he tried. And, _oh boy_, did he want to try.

_**Kurtonista: **__Oh, you were?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__I was. It was a nice distraction during the lulls_

_**Kurtonista: **__What exactly were you thinking about?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__Seeing you, taking you out on a date_

_**Kurtonista: **__That's it?_

He felt pleased with himself for asking all the right questions. He was worried Blaine wouldn't play along – getting a dirty conversation out of Blaine was damn-near impossible because he would always stop and say, "We can't do this," or abruptly change the subject to something undoubtedly the furthest thing away from sexy. Once, he brought up his grandparents. _His grandparents_.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__What do you mean? Isn't that enough?_

_**Kurtonista: **__I just thought you'd think of something specific_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__Such as…?_

_**Kurtonista: **__Such as what you missed about me_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__Oh, I like this game ;-)_

Kurt smiled widely, even though he knew there was no way Blaine could see him. He waited anxiously as Blaine typed out a response.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__I missed the way you rub your foot against my ankle and your lips...I __really__ missed those_

_**Kurtonista: **How much did you miss them?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__So much it hurt. I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you_

_**Kurtonista: **__Oh really?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__Really :-) _

Kurt's heart beat a little faster. He tried to think up something witty and sexy to say; something that would let Blaine know _exactly _where he was hoping this conversation would go. He began a few sentences, but ended up backspacing until they were deleted. He'd just come up with the perfect lead when Blaine sent him another IM.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__So what are you doing? Did you work on those scholarship essays that I sent over?_

Kurt sighed deeply, contemplating whether if he smashed his head into his laptop if the force would be enough to knock him out cold and put him out of his misery. He was already softening a bit at the mere thought of schoolwork at a time like this.

_**Kurtonista: **__Yeah, I got some work done earlier but I'm taking a break. What about you?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **__I was just thinking of looking up some new sheet music_

He shook his head at Blaine's banter, skimming over some more responses about artists and genres noncommittally. He dragged the IM window over to the corner and rewound the video he'd been watching previously before pressing play. Once again, the moans and other noises began filling his room as he watched in fascination. He was rock hard again in less than a minute, fidgeting and wishing that Blaine was there in person with him. After a few more minutes, he was so turned on that he could barely see straight. He clicked on another video, breathing heavily and brim-full of lust.

His turned-on state convinced him to try and reopen the discussion again, digression be damned.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Kurt?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Kurt, are you still there?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Where'd you go?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm here, I'm here_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Oh, I wasn't sure if I'd bored you to sleep or something haha_

_**Kurtonista**_: _No, you could never do that. I was just a bit…preoccupied_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Are you busy? I could log off and let you finish your homework_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm not doing homework, Blaine_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Then what are you doing?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Let's just say I'm…watching something_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Anything worth passing on?_

Kurt smirked to himself, chuckling at Blaine's unknowingly poor choice of words. He knew he had to be quick so that Blaine's attention wouldn't stray to anything else again.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Well I wouldn't call this your ordinary YouTube video…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _What does that mean?_

_**Kurtonista:** It means maybe I'm watching something…a little risqué_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Blaine?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Blaine, are you still there?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'm here…Shit, Kurt. Are you really though?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Maybe I am, maybe I'm not_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Kurt…_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Okay, I am_

There it was. It was out in the open. Kurt had just openly admitted what he was really doing and now the ball was in Blaine's court, so to speak. He fidgeted with his fingers while awaiting Blaine's response. His reaction would determine if he should continue on with this endeavor or hide under his pillows in shame and never emerge again.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**Kurt that is…_

Kurt held his breath.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **That is insanely hot…_

He released his breath in a long gust, squirming again, wanting nothing more than to touch himself. He gently applied pressure to his crotch with his left hand, skillfully using his right to continue typing.

_**Kurtonista: **I wish you were here_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **I wish I was there too, Kurt. I could help you_

_**Kurtonista: **Help me how?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **I'd touch you_

_**Kurtonista: **Tell me what you'd do, Blaine. Please…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **I'd kiss you_

_**Kurtonista: **That's it? You'd kiss me?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**__Hard. I'd kiss you hard, there'd be tongue_

_**Kurtonista: **I could get used to that_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **I bet you could. And I'd kiss your neck_

_**Kurtonista: ***intrigue*_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Yeah, that spot on your left side. I'd kiss you there until you begged me for more_

_**Kurtonista: **More, Blaine. I need more…_

He was palming himself furiously through his pants now, leaning back against the pillows and spreading his legs a little wider. He was willing himself not to get ahead of what was happening, but it was proving difficult.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Ah ah, what's the magic word?_

_**Kurtonista: Please. **Fuck, Blaine. Please, just tell me more_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Are you sure? Maybe we should stop…_

_**Kurtonista: **No, no. I'll be good. I'll be really good_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Shit, Kurt. You can't just say things like that…_

_**Kurtonista: **Blaine…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Okay, okay. I'd touch you_

_**Kurtonista: **Mmmm where?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **I'd take off your shirt and touch your chest. I'd kiss your shoulders and push you onto the bed…_

_**Kurtonista: **Go on, Blaine_

Kurt was incredibly hard now, he could feel the precum sticky against his boxer-briefs, but he couldn't bring himself to care. This was really happening – Blaine was actually going along with it and there was nothing that turned Kurt on more than dirty words. If he was ever lucky enough to get Blaine cursing when they were alone together, he'd ask him to repeat it, just because it got him going.

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Kurt, I want you. Right now**.**_

_**Kurtonista: **Me too. I'm pretending it's you_

_**BlaineTheWarbler: **Are you…? Kurt, oh my gosh…_

_**Kurtonista: **It feels good, Blaine. And I'm thinking of you. All I'm thinking about is you_

He pushed away the laptop to unbutton his jeans and push them down to his ankles, kicking them off hastily. He wasted no time in reaching down his underwear and running his fingers along his length, shuddering as he did so. The relief of skin flush against skin was almost too much to bear.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'm thinking about you too. I'm pretending my hand is yours_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I wish it was mine. Or my mouth. If you were here, I'd be on my knees right now, Blaine_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Fuck…_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Yeah_

Kurt shimmied his boxer-briefs down over his hips, just enough so that he could access his cock, which sprang to attention almost immediately. He thanked the heavens Blaine was susceptible to going along with this tonight. If this was wrong then he didn't ever want to be right, because _damn_ it just felt so good. A moan escaped his lips as he slowly began to stroke himself. He squeezed the base of his length, slowly moving his hand upwards. He stopped long enough to type back some responses.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I want to suck you off, Kurt_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I want to hear the way you whimper and see the way you clench your toes_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I want to do it all to you, Kurt…God, I want you so bad right now_

_**Kurtonista:** I want to put my hands in your hair and touch you in indecent places_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Where. Tell me where._

_**Kurtonista: **A little demanding tonight, aren't we_?

_**BlaineTheWarbler:** …_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Sorry, reflex. I'd come stand behind you when you weren't expecting it. I'd reach down into your jeans and start jerking you off. Then I'd kiss your back just the way you like it until you can't even stand up any more_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Fuck, Kurt. You have no idea._

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Just…talk to me, Blaine. Talk me through this. Please._

Kurt settled back against the pillows, moving his hand faster and faster, mentally replacing the circle of his own hand with Blaine's lips. He imagined Blaine's hips pressed close against his; them grinding against each other's limbs just to get off. He recalled the feeling of Blaine nibbling on his earlobes and whispering how sexy he was directly into Kurt's ear. That alone almost did it for him – he almost came right then and there. But he forced himself to open his eyes and read the messages that Blaine was sending quickly now, seeming to forget about his own pleasure instead of Kurt's. The ping was constant now.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'd want to try new things with you_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'd lean down and lick your entrance until you were begging for me to be inside of you_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'd let my fingers do the talking, if you catch my meaning_

Oh how Kurt did. He moaned loudly, his breathing borderline dangerously fast. Sweat was beading along his forehead, but he still worked his hand, jerking off quickly. He bravely stuck the pointed finger of his free hand in his mouth and sucked it until it was nice and wet. He was no stranger to self-stimulation, so he didn't even flinch when he reached down and slid his finger inside.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'd start slowly, with one finger, just working it in and out of you_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Then I'd add another_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _And another…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'd be using my tongue as I did it, sliding it in and out, in and out…_

Kurt had already added another finger and was pumping himself hard now. He felt on the brink of explosion, riding his own fingers and thrusting into the circle of his fist. He was whimpering loudly, saying Blaine's name aloud every few seconds. He was _so close_, he was so close to the edge now…

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Imagine me inside of you, Kurt_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Imagine me stretching you nice and wide and taking you all night long_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Think about me holding your hips in place and coming deep inside of you. Can you see it?_

Kurt could see it. He could imagine it all vividly and he wanted it. Badly. No, he _needed_ it. But he had to settle tonight. He had to settle on imagining that Blaine was there with him, thrusting into him and touching him the way he'd described. That was all it took for Kurt to come fast and hard. He spilled all over his hand and coated his chest with the sticky substance, even feeling a bit of it splatter against his neck. He writhed violently against his mattress, crying out and moaning intelligible nothings until he was nothing but a shaking mess splayed on the bed top.

He would've lain there for hours if it hadn't been for the incessant pinging from his laptop. He sat up - the blood rushing from his other body parts straight to his head in his haste – and brought his laptop closer.

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Kurt? Are you still there?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Did you, you know?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Oh my god, what if you hate me? What if you thought that was disgusting? I never should have agreed to do that…_

The messages went on and on, Blaine apologizing over and over again. Kurt decided to interrupt Blaine's pity party after a few seconds of this.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Blaine, don't worry, I don't hate you and I don't think it was disgusting_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Yes, I came_

He blushed just typing the word, even though he'd basically just given himself the best orgasm of his existence to obvious the knowledge of his boyfriend. Just knowing the act was deliberate was enough to make Kurt the teensiest bit hard again.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Did you?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Not yet_

_**Kurtonista:** Can I help?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Shit, Kurt, do you even need to ask?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Yes, just…now, please…_

Kurt cracked his knuckles before typing quickly.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm biting your neck_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _You are?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Shh, just let me talk_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Yes, I'm biting your neck. I'm using my teeth on that spot just below your chin_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm going further down. I'm kissing your chest, sucking on your nipples…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Fuck…_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm going down to your waist, trailing my nails down your sides_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _You know how I like that_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Yeah, I know_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I've already got your pants off and I've pulled your cock through the opening in your boxers_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm moving my hand on it while using my mouth on the tip_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Ohhh…_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm using my tongue just the way I always do_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Good God, Kurt, I'm not going to last much longer_

Kurt decided to speed it up, sensing his boyfriend's desperation even through the computer screen.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm grabbing your ass and squeezing it as I suck you off_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm looking up at you while I do it and you're looking back down at me_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Mmmmm_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'm doing it all – using my teeth, my tongue, my lips, my hands. I'm doing everything you can think of and it's all for you, Blaine. It's all for you._

_**Kurtonista: **Just think about it, I'm fucking you with my mouth. I want you to come all over my face. I want it. Do it, Blaine._

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'm…_

Kurt watched as Blaine's end of the conversation dissolved into silence. He felt a strange sense of satisfaction from being able to get Blaine off with just his words. He felt accomplished in a weird way, knowing he could torture Blaine without even laying a finger on him.

He took the opportunity while Blaine was "away" to walk down the hall to the bathroom and wipe himself clean, his come being dried onto his chest already. By the time he got back to his room, Blaine was online again.

_**Kurtonista:**_ _You okay?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Kurt, I'm better than okay…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Why haven't we done this sooner?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Because my boyfriend is a former prude_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Look who's talking_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I resent that_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Hey, it's only eight right now. What time did your parents say they'd be back?_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _After midnight, why?_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'm coming over_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Blaine, what? No, just stay there and get some rest_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _Don't try and stop me_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _If you're going to be stubborn, then by all means…_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _I'll be there in a flash_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _I'll be the one on the bed ;-)_

_**BlaineTheWarbler:**_ _For now…_

_**Kurtonista:**_ _Wait, what?_

_"BlaineTheWarbler has signed off"_

* * *

><p><em>AN: **Review,** my dear readers! Let me know what you thought of it :D_


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